“You’re my obsession…”

“You’re my obsession … You’re my possession”, sang Astrid Plane, lead singer with 80’s synth-pop futurists Animotion, on their era-defining hit ‘Obsession’:

Just like the punk-haired pop waif, Roy Keane has his own obsession; very average centre-backs unproven in the Premier League. Not content with bringing together all the members of the Facebook group ‘WE WEREN’T GOOD ENOUGH TO PLAY FOR MAN UTD’ under one roof, the basin-haired hardman is also building a considerable collection of average centre-halves:

• Paul McShane
• Nyron Nosworthy
• Danny Higginbotham
• Stanislav Varga
• Russell Anderson
• Danny Collins

As if these weren’t enough now he wants to add one-season Spurs failure Younes Kaboul, as well as serial glove-wearer Pascal Chimbonda. What the smeg is going on?

Here’s a man brought up alongside some of the best centre-backs the country has ever seen: Paul McGrath, Steve Bruce, Gary Pallister, Jaap Stam, Rio Ferdinand and William Prunier to name but a few. So why is that he can’t recognise a shite number 6 when he sees one?

Whilst we’re on the subject of dodgy centre-halves, don’t forget you still have plenty of time to sign your own by signing up to the first annual Grumpy Old Footballers fantasy league: see http://grumpyoldfootballers.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/invitation-to-the-grumpyoldfootballers-fantasy-league/ for details.